... Percy Jackson and the Olympians - The Lightning Thief!
While the average British teenager turns with the tunic, a pair of spectacles out of style already on the beaches of Normandy, a two-tone scarf and a piece of wood through which hisses incantations like "Ventilatio Putrens", "Defecatio hysterical "and" Docta Manus Amica, testosterone Yankees fail to make the assault on the Hellenic pantheon, to be present in a strip-club Aphrodite and remove the heavy nonsense of magic scepter from the hands of a sect of crazies who retires at a castle near Lockness under the astute leadership of one called Dumbledore, but does nothing more than blather?
Zeus and Poseidon, unwatchable tamarri, due to the recent crisis in Greece, moved to New York and meet up on the Empire State Building refitted as best as divine residence. Someone has stolen the lightning in the first, although he had closed the door firmly and Olympians entered the alarm. Suspicion falls on the son of the God of the Seas, a sixteen year old phony name of Percy, free diving world champion, look for fish of the sea bottom and only able to read ancient greek, which does not explain how it ever got to high school in a country Anglo-Saxon. During a trip to the museum of Greek antiquities, which houses artifacts that Greece did not even have the baby god is attacked by a winged fury in the form of Letizia Moratti. The threat of a Congestion Charge Olympic is unsustainable and mother, the wife of a stinker, he decided to send the big baby to the training camp for demigods, two oak trees on the left after that of the Ku Klux Klan and Aryan Alliance before that.
On the trip, mom is kidnapped by a minotaur, and broccoli in an accidental cross of Friesian cows grazing just outside the city. Percy, with the help of the satyr Grover, his guardian, unharmed reach the camp where his paraplegic teacher turns out to be the largest trainer of heroes Chiron (the mystery deepens on how to hide a horse's body in a wheelchair Lightweight, copyright Paxcow). Not even the time of a handful in the company bambascione risks his career to marry the beautiful Annabeth (the actress is Daddario's last name, nomen est omen), daughter of Athena secret CSI New York, is seen to reach Hades in the middle of a party that announces the intention to Mamma exchange with the lightning of Zeus and lost an orgy with the nymphs.
Thanks to Luke, the son of Hermes, Percy, Annabeth and Grover are equipped with shields, map and winged shoes for an expedition to find the pearls of Persephone, capable of moving from the Underworld, and the recovery the dam. Start a pilgrimage coast to coast to the States, where the fearless retrieve the pearls from the clutches of Medusa Thurman (Kill Bill Vol Homer), Hydra and Lotus Eaters. The trio arrives in the underworld, in Hollywood (they realized that this film will damn for ever), and met the couple in charge of the studios: Ade is a seasoned rockabilly, Persephone a nymphomaniac sister dressed as Zorro. Striking discovery, it is appropriate to say, the lightning of Zeus is the shield that Luke gave to Percy, but turning them to stone the fact that all try to ignore it deliberately laying the blame on Ade.
Thanks to Persephone, who strikes her husband tired of his breath that smells of dead mother Ebe is free, but the pearls are just three of the group consists of four heroes. A Grover touches to stay in the underworld fuck Persephone, while others may face a skin on several occasions: that really is a hero satyr. Orphans of the goat, mother, son and pop run atop the Empire State Building to hang up the current Zeus and prevent war, but are surprised by an enemy impossible (according to the writers): Luke, eager to replace the gods. Furious duel in which Percy Moses, with the help of rainwater tanks, sketched a Red Sea on the roofs and destroying the Silver Skates Luke bringing peace intestinal Olympus before returning to Chiron, useless character.
film short of expectations as an octogenarian in a brothel who left viagra in the other pants. He feels that lacks the typical involvement of "Antony and Clitopatra", although it has the merit of making sense that the resistance of the hymen university is destined to weaken in a few episodes. A film that runs only sensible post in ancient greek, such as incomprehensible to most people, and that will not withstand the attacks of flatulence that is produced by the popcorn as Xanax swallowed during the screening. Even "Hercules against the Tyrants of Babylon" appears in front of a neo-realist narrative based on a mother to hide the smell of the divine blood of his son to leave the bed of the god of the seas to slip into that of an obese individual that stinks as the men's room during a trade fair.
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